Radishes, M&M Cookies, Lots of Vegetables, and No Breakfast Tacos

I caught a cold and have become a puffy-eyed mouth breather, but still, I’m flying high after the excitement of last week’s taco post. My little blog saw literally ten times the amount of traffic it normally does, and that’s before the city guide has been posted on the AFBA page. So I’m excited. I’m gonna scrap the current blog format and write only snark-filled posts about breakfast establishments. I’m kidding! Don’t worry mom and the other tenth of you loyal readers, I’ll be back here every week with more parental hand-wringing and bad photography. See, like this: I’m in a super bad mood because George was up all night, ostensibly because he has to poop? I explained to him that no one stays up all night because they have to poop- you poop during the day and sleep at night- but he was unconvinced. Nobody listens to me. Here’s what we ate this week.

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Cauliflower and Broccoli Cheese. Helen sent me this recipe years ago, back in the early days of Pinterest, in hopes that I would make it for dinner some night and she could come eat leftovers the next day. It has sat in my dinner ideas board ever since. Until now! It’s from Jamie Oliver. The recipe wouldn’t load, so I watched the video instead and loved how he made a version with fresh vegetables and a version with frozen to see if you could tell the difference- he couldn’t. I never cook with frozen vegetables, because they seem inferior to me and I am a privileged asshole who has the very good fortune to get to think things like that. Anyway, I used frozen for this and you couldn’t tell a difference, and it was delicious and cheaper! I added half a pound of barely cooked (4 min) elbow macaroni to the cauliflower because I thought my kids would turn their noses up at cauliflower in broccoli sauce, and I think it was a good addition. Though it didn’t help with the kids. Henry ate the noodles out and left the cauliflower. George ate nothing. Unrelated: there’s thyme in the breadcrumbs on top and that’s a nice thing.

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Baby with a Radish. My sister calls dogs’ vaginas radishes, so typing that felt weird to me.

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Thai Basil Stir Fry, Cucumber Salad, Fried Egg. Yeah, I set the plates down on the dirty concrete patio because it was the most well-lit place I could find in the eight seconds I had to take a picture. I love this basil stir fry. I had a 1/2 pound of ground chicken left over from making a meatloaf during taco-post week and 1/4 pound of ground beef left over from I don’t know when and used them both here, which seemed weird but tasted fine. George eats very little, and almost no vegetables, but he can’t get enough of spiralized cucumbers, so we’re gonna eat them every day now.

We hosted Little Unschoolers at our place and it was awesome. Helen brought fruit to share and brought me a thundercloud sub(!!), other friends brought purple carrots, crackers, and dip, and cucumber cream cheese sandwiches on croissants, and lots of people helped clean up afterward- this group has really begun to feel like a community to me. I love the camaraderie and spending time in the sunshine. Lest it sound like the whole thing is all rainbows and moon pies, let me add that my favorite part is spending time with the other moms, and the kids are sometimes delightful (an impromptu music parade was pretty great) but often a real pain in the ass. Henry threw a car at a kid’s face, several kids fought over a highly-coveted bucket with a rope tied to it, and there was a neck-squeezing/knee biting incident that I had the privilege of breaking up. Still, the music parade and thundercloud sub were enough to carry me through.

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Crispy Kale, Brussels Sprouts, and Potato Hash. Helen came over for lunch and ate some broccoli cauliflower leftovers! Two years later, her plan had borne fruit. George, with prompting from Helen, peed on the potty. I decided to celebrate the occasion by walking to the baskin robbins around the corner from our house. I had never been there because there’s a Sonic approximately 75 feet closer to me than that, and why walk by a Sonic, where you can get ice cream and fried things stuffed with cheese, to get to a place where you can only get half of that stuff? I didn’t know what I’d been missing- that ice cream is glorious. I got a kind that had three kinds of cookies in it! Cookies, you guys! The glorious Phinnie was with us too and looked majestic awkwardly licking her rainbow sherbet cone. Also, an awesome guy came in while we were there, dressed in a track suit made from a spandex-y material emblazoned with teen magazine cover shots. Seventeen magazine was on there, and others, and it was so good. Why does this product exist? And given that it does exist, why aren’t more people wearing it? I tried to find it online, but failed. Anyway, the shop was empty but the guy still sat down at our table, but facing the other way, and never acknowledged us. I took the opportunity to greedily take in the sights of that glorious track suit. He ordered ice cream, left the shop to get a slice of pizza out of his car, and then came back in and ate his ice cream. Helen thinks he was high on cocaine, but I think he’s just a person who is good at living. Maybe he’s both!

We got home late and I made this hash, which takes way longer than the recipe indicates if you want things to actually get crispy, which I do, I really do. Henry and George ate buttered noodles with parmesan because they couldn’t stomach the idea of a pan full of vegetables for dinner.

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Quesadillas, Pineapple, Guacamole. This wasn’t on my menu plan, but we spent all day at the wildflower center and I didn’t have time to make any of the stuff I had planned, so quesadillas. I maxed out the saturation tool in the vsco cam app to make that guacamole look edible, which in turn made the pineapple look phosphorescent. I’m super excited that daylight savings time starts in a week and I’ll have the sun on my side again.

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Lemon Pesto Spaghetti Squash. If the healthfulness of our meals were put on a graph, this one would be an outlier. A way far off one. Squash instead of pasta? Greens? No cheese? I did not make a hemp seed pesto though, because that would have been a bridge too far. Andy and I fed it to the kids and my mother-in-law and we ate ham sandwiches in the car on the drive down to San Marcos to see my brother-in-law’s play. Enjoy your squash kids, we’re eating ham! The play, Norma’s Rest, is so beautiful. It’s about a halfway house for folks that are getting back on their feet after prison. There’s a lovable neo-Nazi (no, really- he had an SS tattoo on his neck and I thought, “oooph.” but liked him almost immediately anyway), a transgendered woman with Southern hospitality in spades, a total fuck up teenager named, mysteriously, Ferret, and Norma, the cancer-stricken bad ass who takes care of them. Jordan is such a talented playwright. His plays start off hilarious and flip somewhere in the middle and leave you devastated and thinking about the characters for days afterwards. I’ll try to be on my game and tell you in advance the next time one of his plays goes up.

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Salad Fixin’s.

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This looks like a liver in an advanced stage of cirrhosis (numerous septa, y’all), but is actually the most delicious loaf of bread I’ve ever baked.

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Slow-Cooked Chickpeas, Ciabatta Toast, Garden Salad. Carla, a beautiful unschooling friend who is nine months pregnant with her fourth child, made me these chickpeas. I feel like such an asshole just typing that! But I will greedily accept any and all meals prepared by you, Carla! The chickpeas were glorious. They’re supposed to be served on toast and I had none, so I baked a loaf of ciabatta from The Everyday Baker. The ciabatta I’m used to buying in the store is flat and holey and dry and not all that great. The picture of this loaf in the book made me think it was something different than that- it looked huge and tender and moist. It was all those things! It was an easy process, but when where you have to do something just about every hour for 6 hours, so you’ve gotta be home while you’re making it. The kids and I discovered that you could see the orange hint of a carrot and pink radishes (you’ve really ruined this for me, Helen) peeking out of the top of the soil, plus we had broccoli that was starting to flower and needed to be eaten, kale, and herbs too, so we made a garden salad to go with our chickpeas. Henry ate the carrots, George ate the broccoli, Andy ate what I served him, and I ate the rest. I thought it was great.

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Magical, Marvelous, Memorable Cookies. I had exactly one cup of leftover granola, so my hands were tied- I had to make these cookies. They’ve got mini m&ms, toffee, peanut butter chips, and chocolate chips all leftover from our Valentine’s Day cookie decorating station, plus crushed pretzels for that brilliant balance of sweet and salty. They’re my favorite.

In the afternoon, we drove out to Dripping Springs for the Texas Night Sky Festival, which Andy’s dad, a Master Naturalist, had told us about. Dripping Springs is one of two places in Texas and 57 places in the world certified as a dark sky community- one that has committed to using lights wisely to minimize the impact on animals and people, and which has the added benefit of saving energy and providing some fantastic opportunities for star-gazing. Apparently one lady brought this all about. She wanted to make Dripping Springs a dark sky community and made it happen. She talked all the big local businesses into installing the fully-shielded lights necessary for the program. She got vendors and sponsors on board, and she educated a whole community. People are amazing. The festival was a blast. There was a free planetarium, live music, tons of cool arts and crafts and citizen science projects, great food trucks (we ate an awesome Cuban sandwich from Cafe Ybor and a feast of smothered pork chops, homemade peppery macaroni and cheese, beef tips in brown gravy, and meatloaf with green beans from My Granny’s Kitchen and loved every bite), and a star party after the sun went down. We got to look through a giant telescope and see the moons around Jupiter and the whole thing was rad.

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Gluten Free, Dairy Free Chocolate Cake with Gluten Free, Dairy Free Seven-Minute Frosting. I scraped off that crown and redrew it three times and it still sucks. I’ve gotta practice piping. And looking up images on google, because clearly my brain can only provide the most general outline of what a crown looks like. The cake tasted pretty good though. It was for my niece Lucy, who is a four-year-old wonder. She is my favorite person to eavesdrop on- she invents the most delightful little games and says the dearest things to herself, quietly. The cake uses cup4cup instead of wheat flour, and coconut milk mixed with a squeeze of lemon instead of buttermilk. The frosting is meringue-y and marshmallow-y and not my favorite, but I don’t have a better dairy free frosting yet. Do you? Please tell me.

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Creamy White Bean and Tomato Soup, More Ciabatta. We ate tons of sandwiches at Lucy’s house. They had all the deli meats and bacon and fancy mayonnaise you could put on a sandwich and I lived it up. I’m ready to personally endorse a ham and bacon sandwich for president. The kids fell asleep on the way home, which meant an interminably long day, so we lived it up by eating the other half of that ciabatta and a vegan tomato soup (thickened with beans, y’all, that’s living!) and having a family movie night where we watched episodes of Laurel and Hardy. Henry is a great lover of slapstick and laughed louder than he’s ever laughed at anything. Good on you, 1930’s.

I was working on this blog post last night after the kids went to bed, and then George woke up and never went back to sleep and so I’m ignoring my family and finishing it this morning. The upbeat parts were written last night, when everything still looked pretty good, and the gloomy stuff was written this morning, when I’m facing the prospect of a long day with a startling lack of patience. Also I think George is mad at me for not letting him rub my elbow when he was trying to fall asleep last night. He has a weird elbow fetish and he’s rubbed mine raw and I just can’t with it anymore. Blaaah. Wish me luck not being a whiny baby.

A 2016 Guide to Breakfast Tacos in Austin

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Breakfast tacos are a touchy subject around these parts. Mention that Tacodeli is your favorite spot in town in the wrong crowd and you risk getting punched in the face. For the rigidly authentic set, real  breakfast tacos are served up on homemade griddled flour tortillas, they’re huge, they’re cheap, and they’re probably not from Austin. The big names in breakfast tacos around town- Torchy’s, Tacodeli, Maria’s Taco Xpress, Mi Madre’s, Juan in a Million- none of them meet this criteria. I, myself, am not rigidly authentic. I think there are pros and cons to all of these places. Some places nail the tortilla and then stuff the things with sub-par fillings. Other places have amazing fillings, or salsas, or ambience, and are worth trying in spite of their weak points. A few, a precious few, get everything right.

I spent the past month eating tacos from 13 places around town. This included the big chains that are bemoaned by the traditionalists on yelp, little food trucks on the east side, tacos from a tortilleria, breakfast tacos that maybe aren’t fair to call breakfast tacos, and ones that are perfect in every way except they’re in Buda, so maybe also don’t count.

I ordered my tacos on flour tortillas, unless I knew the corn ones were recommended/homemade/the only option. I ordered a chorizo and egg taco at every place to have a control taco that would allow me to directly compare one place to another. I live in South Austin and you’ll notice that I mostly stuck to the southside for this review. Scroll to the bottom of this post for links to additional breakfast taco readings that cast a wider net.

So here we go. In alphabetical order, because it’s the easiest order.

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Casa Alde
108 N. Main Street, Buda, TX 78610
Breakfast tacos served all day | Prices Start at $1.75

I’m starting off my guide to the best breakfast tacos in Austin with a restaurant that’s not in Austin. But it’s close, you guys, really close. And it’s my favorite. I grew up in Buda, and we ate these tacos as often as we could scrape $2 together. An enterprising Hays High classmate used to show up to first period government class with a sackful and auction them off to the highest bidder. They’ve got the nostalgia thing going for them, but even if your knowledge of Buda is limited to Cabela’s and a vague association with wiener dogs (it’s a thing), you should make the trek down to try these tacos. The tortillas are big and floury, handmade every day, and the fillings are perfect. The migas taco features tons of thick hand-fried tortilla chips, folded with fluffy scrambled eggs and topped with a heavy pour of queso. Potatoes are hash brown-like, sausage is crumbled Jimmy Dean, and bacon is left whole and crispy. They’re famous for The Fattie, a monster of a taco that delivers you potato, egg, bacon, sausage, and cheese in that perfect tortilla for $2.90. The chorizo could go toe-to-toe with any version in Austin, and they make a fantastic barbacoa. One taco is just about enough to fill you up. Two might put you face down on the couch for a while, a gut packed with taco and a greasy smile on your lips.

Highlights: huge tacos, homemade thick and chewy flour tortillas, migas with crunchy hand-fried tortilla chips, the fattie, barbacoa, low prices

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El Tacorrido
2316 South 1st St, Austin, TX 78704
Breakfast tacos served all day | Prices start at $2.00

I drove right past the speaker where you’re supposed to order and pulled up to the first window like a jackass. The lady inside was cool about it though. They got my order just right, and it was super fast, and the food smelled insanely good on the drive home. And then we ate, and I was sort of disappointed. The potatoes in a potato/bacon/cheese/bean taco were desperately undercooked and unpleasantly crunchy, and the beans really needed salt. The tacos with egg had an odd sort of sweetness to them. The chorizo was not spicy, nor was it very flavorful, and the same went for the barbacoa, which tasted mostly of the onions and cilantro it was topped with. I got a carne guisada taco too, and I shouldn’t even mention it because it’s not a breakfast-y taco, but it was amazing! Fiery, flavorful, with tender chopped beef and correctly-cooked potatoes. The salsas too were glorious and if you like coffee you can get a cool horchata+espresso drink called El Equinox. A friend I trust swears by that bacon/potato/bean/cheese taco, so I think I might have just hit them on an off day. Still, I think I’d rather try more of their non-breakfast tacos, and I’ll definitely go back for another carne guisada.

Highlights: carne guisada, salsas, authentic offerings, fast service, cool drinks

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Fresa’s Chicken al Carbon
915 North Lamar, Austin, TX 78703
Breakfast tacos served till 11 on weekdays, noon on weekends | Prices start at $2.60

This bright, modern building with a giant neon chicken looks like it would be right at home in the Hamptons. At least as far as I understand them from watching the Barefoot Contessa. It’s beachy. It’s adorable. It looks like it’s for rich people. I mean, look at those stickers, you guys! These are breakfast tacos sold to you by friendly bearded hipsters and stamped with labels designed by someone who went to RISD or Parsons or somewhere. Does the inauthenticity make your blood boil? Does looking at those cheerful stickers make you feel stabby?  I think the whole thing is adorable. There was no one in line at the drive thru at 11 on a Saturday, everyone was really nice, and the tacos were pretty damn good. They make their own tortillas, but you probably won’t notice, except maybe to be momentarily saddened that they’re a bit smaller than the norm. The steak and egg taco, The Margie, was the big hit, with generous chunks of fatty smoky brisket folded into fluffy eggs from pedigreed chickens and rajas that were obviously in there but somehow flavorless. The chorizo and egg was simple and good. The migas has a uniform consistency and features soggy chips, but has a comforting casserole kind of vibe and great flavor. The Flaco was lame. The beans were underseasoned, the potatoes were dried out, and the corn tortilla fell apart. The most pronounced flavor was from the shredded cabbage- let’s all take a moment to be sad about that. But just skip that taco (unless you’re a vegan! then, yay, cabbage!) and enjoy your fancy tiny breakfast.

Highlights: steak and egg taco, well-executed traditional breakfast tacos, a lovely place to eat, friendly staff, speedy drive thru, fancy stickers

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Juan In A Million
2300 E. Cesar Chavez St., Austin, TX 78701
Breakfast tacos served all day | Prices start at $2.39

My kids were visibly shocked to be greeted so boisterously by the man himself, Juan Meza, upon walking into this restaurant, but I loved it. No one ever cheers when I walk into the room with my two sweaty toddlers, so it was a rare treat. The waitresses wear black and white uniforms and the place feels timeless. I knew I wanted to get the big taco, the Don Juan, for science, and I had to get the chorizo and egg, also for science. The waitress didn’t bat an eyelid at my bold order, and instead asked simply, “How many extra tortillas?” “Uh, I don’t know? How many do people normally get?,” I asked. She said “Two?” and put in our order. People must stuff the shit out of those tacos because all told, it was enough filling for six tacos. I took the leftovers home and my husband and I ate them for dinner, which sounds Dickensian, one taco for three meals, but actually felt princely. The tacos are great. The tortillas are griddled, which makes all the difference in the world to me in improving a mass-produced tortilla. The Don Juan tastes of bacon, all the bacon, so much bacon, which suited me just fine. The chorizo and egg was awesome. Really nicely greasy, simply spiced, and plentiful. This is a good spot.

Highlights: the Don Juan (big enough to feed two people for $5.40), nice chorizo, old-school setting, self-esteem-boosting greeting

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Maria’s Taco Xpress
2529 South Lamar Boulevard, Austin, TX 78704
Breakfast tacos served all day | Prices start at $1.80

Maria’s was the happening place when I was in high school, at least as far as we knew from ‘happening’ in the doldrums of Hays county, but no one seems to talk about it anymore. Or maybe I’m just moving in the wrong circles. It’s fun! It’s dark inside, like you’re eating in a bar, because I guess you are? There’s a huge dark wooden counter where you order, old velvet-y sofas to lounge on while you wait, and some tables in the sunshine along a windowed wall. The walls and ceiling have that eclectic look chains like Applebees and Chili’s go for, unsuccessfully: a bunch of random crap covering every square inch. In Maria’s, it works. It feels like you’re in the pages of an I Spy book.. The tacos are okay! They came out absolutely molten hot. The migas is of the omelet-y variety with a scattering of chips thrown in to make the thing technically qualify as migas, but which offer little in the way of flavor or texture. The cheese, do note the cheese!, was mesmerizing. As I ate the taco, a blob of the stuff oozed its way past the edge of the tortilla and slowly, ever so slowly, like the great pitch drop experiment, made its way to the paper boat below. It’s a lot of cheese, is all I’m saying. This taco is listed on the website as Rachael Ray’s favorite, which surprised me. Is she still a thing? I’m out of the loop, but thought for sure that her overworked voice would have rasped its last TV show rasp by now. The bacon/egg/cheese was solid. Nice crispy bacon, a more restrained amount of cheese. The chorizo was also good. It had gotten well-crisped on the griddle and was dark in places and tasted predominantly of clove. Which was interesting. Or maybe my palette is complete shit and there’s no clove in there at all. In which case, it tasted predominantly of something. Still, we had fun here. It looks like they do cool stuff on the patio and I want to go back.

Highlights: crispy bacon, copious cheese, fun atmosphere, Rachael Ray’s seal of approval

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Mi Madre’s
2201 Manor Road, Austin, TX 78722
Breakfast tacos served all day | Prices start at $2.75

Find a seat on the vibrant, shady patio. Chat with your lovely waitress, who is so good at her job that she feels like an old friend. Bite into a warm, light-as-air tortilla chip and feel it shatter in your mouth, millions of salty shards dancing across your tongue. Dip the next one into the perfect homemade salsa. Taste your breakfast taco, a house made machacado, eggs, and pico de gallo, and say, “meh.” I love this place, but I don’t think their breakfast tacos are anything special. They’re a fine vehicle for that salsa, or a fine thing to fill you up in between bites of those delicious chips, but on their own, they’re sort of dry and flavorless. Their website says that they’ve got Austin’s best breakfast tacos, as voted by the Austin Chronicle, but the only mention of that after some cursory googling was an award from 1996. I’m not saying all this to convince you not to go here. You should go here. It’s fun and the chips, you guys! Just don’t pin any hopes on having a life-changing breakfast taco experience. In fact, skip the tacos all together and get the New Mexico breakfast plate. You still get the chips and you’ll probably get to spend more time on that sweet patio.

Highlights: chips, salsa, patio, waitstaff, breakfast plates

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Papalote
2803 S Lamar Blvd, Austin, TX 78704
Breakfast tacos served all day | Prices start at $1.99

Papalote is one of my favorite non-breakfast taco spots. Guajolote en Mole, Puerco in Pipian, cauliflower cake tacos, a tinga de res topped with plantains. Plantains! The breakfast tacos offer some off-the-beaten-path options too: chicharon, calabaza, FRANKS. There are no preset tacos on the menu, everything is customized to your preferences. Eggs are fluffy, cheese is real, and the chorizo is one of the few in Austin that has a vinegar tang, which I want and need in my chorizo. The potatoes are big and chunky and undercooked. The sausage is cut up links, which I find far inferior to the crumbled stuff. Tortillas are mass-produced and not griddled, near as I can tell. There are great tacos to be had here, for breakfast or later, but it might take some experimenting before you settle on your favorite combination.

Highlights: chorizo, fluffy eggs, salsas, unusual ingredient options, absolute power in designing your own taco, brilliant non-breakfast tacos, aguas frescas

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Tacodeli
1500 Spyglass Dr, Austin, TX 78746
Breakfast tacos served till 11 AM M-F, all day on weekends | Prices start at $1.95

 

The first time I had Tacodeli breakfast tacos was at the farmers’ market stand at Sunset Valley. I ordered a beans, papas, and cheese and was totally and completely weirded-out by having gummy mashed potatoes instead of the standard griddled chunks. But you know what? It grew on me. It got to the point where I craved that weird soft squishy taco with it’s pasty potatoes and beans. And the salsas are honestly wonderful. Each one a shining example of its class. Everything’s soft at Tacodeli. The tortillas aren’t griddled- they’re warm and pliable with a waxy sheen. The eggs are light and fluffy. The beans, potatoes, even the chips in the migas- everything could be enjoyed just as much by a toothless individual. There is not a lot of textural variation. Even so, the chorizo taco I ate there might have been my favorite of all the dozen-plus-one places I tried this month. It’s scooped on top of your soft pile of eggs with an ice cream scoop, and is so saucy and moist it felt a little like eating a sloppy joe. It’s got way more acid than other versions around  town, vinegary, and it has a warm lingering heat that you don’t get from most chorizos. They’ve got options, delicious ones, for every dietary restriction under the sun, the salsas are good, the fillings are good, the staff is great, the tortillas are not, and taken all together I like Tacodeli. Do you want to punch me in the face?

Highlights: salsas, vinegar-y chorizo, options for those with dietary restrictions, soft and gummy mashed potatoes (if you’ve acquired a taste for that sort of thing)

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Tacos Guerrero
96 Pleasant Valley Rd, Austin, TX 78702
Breakfast tacos served all day | Prices start at $2.00

This place got a nod on the Texas Monthly list of the best tacos in Austin (linked at the bottom of this post) for its chorizo, potato and egg. That taco, the red one in the center of the above photo, really is great. The chorizo is way more garlicky and paprika-y than most around town, and tastes more like Spanish chorizo than the Mexican stuff, which is a fun change. The potatoes were undercooked though, and the other tacos were all really not good. The bacon was tattered and soft and spongy, the thick layer of cheese felt oppressive, and the tortillas, which are heralded as being homemade, really felt like store bought. If you want to try it, skip the bacon, skip the potatoes, skip the cheese, and get chorizo on everything.

Highlights: a garlicky chorizo that’s more flavorful than most, all the stuff you want to cram in a taco for $2

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Torchy’s Tacos
2809 South First St. Austin, TX 78704
Breakfast tacos served all day | Prices start at $2.25

Like Tacodeli, Torchy’s is polarizing. It’s hugely popular, but mention it online and you’re gonna get tons of comments about their mass-produced tortillas, inauthenticity, and over-hyped, overstuffed, over-the-top tacos. And, yeah, I get it. I’m not a huge fan of their breakfast tacos- the eggs are of the overcooked, omelet-style variety, but with a nice amount of crispy bacon pieces or decent chorizo embedded in the underside. Tortillas have that weird raw quality from not being griddled, and a vague industrial solvent-flavor from the lubed-up conveyor belt they were conceived on. But Torchy’s has stuff going for it too. The Jack of Clubs, from the secret menu, is a study in excess but is pretty damn good. The guy behind the counter said it was amazing with pickled onions added, so I did that, and I enjoyed the whole thing, runny yolk oozing down the side of my taco and between my fingers. I love the shady patio in this location, I love the missionary style green chile pork, also from the secret menu, and even the most hard-hearted Torchy’s hater would have to agree that they’ve nailed the queso. Also, if you have a 4 year old who is devastated to have to eat at another breakfast taco joint because he doesn’t care for the things, Torchy’s kids menu has The Little Devil, a peanut butter and banana “quesadilla”, coated in cornflakes, deep-fried, and served with strawberry jam. So chill out with your Torchy’s-bashing and let’s go eat some queso.

Highlights: outrageous and generally more delicious secret menu fare, queso, shady patio

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Tortilleria Rio Grande #2
500 W William Cannon Dr, Austin, TX 78745
Breakfast tacos served till 10:30 AM | Prices start at $1.83

This is one of the few places on my list that passes the authenticity test: are there more Hispanic people in the place than white people? Yes. Are order numbers called out in Spanish? Yes. The tortillas are made on site, obviously, this being a tortilleria and all, and it shows. The flour tortillas are thin and elemental. They’re flaky, with a paper-thin crispy layer on the griddled outside. The egg and chorizo is simple and delicious, and the bean and cheese is great too- the beans oozy in a good way and the cheese is a real Mexican melting cheese, not the pre-shredded orange stuff you typically find. The creamy green tomatillo and avocado sauce has no heat but adds a lovely brightness, the red sauce is 40% pepper seeds and is fiery and toasty. They’re great together. There’s a constant hum of activity while you eat as people come in to buy the salsa in 8 ounce containers from the cooler, or a fat stack of corn tortillas, fresh off the griddle. It’s outside the purview of this guide, but their lunch tacos are fantastic too, especially the desebrada, a simple and delicious stewed beef. If I’m not up for driving to Buda, or interested in spending $7 on a taco stuffed with sweet sweet barbecue (coming up next!), then Tortilleria Rio Grande is my pick for the best standard breakfast tacos.

Highlights: light and flaky flour tortillas, creamy bean and cheese tacos, nice chorizo, really cheap prices

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Valentina’s Tex Mex BBQ
7612 Brodie Ln., Austin, TX 78745
Breakfast tacos served till 11 AM | Prices start at $2.50

Is it fair to compare these to other breakfast tacos? Would you like this bean and cheese taco or this  bean and cheese taco that comes with a gold watch on top? I’m gonna pick the gold watch taco. Does this allegory make any sense? Do you understand what I’m saying? The fantastic barbecue they’re stuffing into already over-the-top breakfast tacos (with peppery fried eggs, perfectly crispy bacon, and flavorful homemade tortillas) is the gold watch. It feels like cheating- it’s just all too good. We tried all three breakfast tacos they offer: the potato egg and cheese with smoked chorizo added was good, but the other two, the expensive ones, were insane. We added the pulled pork to the Ultimate Bean and Cheese ($5), and the heap of sweet, moist meat, with a strip of bacon in the mix too, was one of the best things I’ve eaten in the past year. The Real Deal Holyfield ($6.50) is a fried egg, potatoes, refried beans, bacon, and your choice of pulled pork or mesquite smoked brisket stuffed into that glorious tortilla. We picked the brisket for this one, and it was tender and juicy with a thick and glorious bark that added a delightful crunch and an explosion of sweet peppery flavor. A bite that included the bark and the yolk of the runny egg was everything good in the world. Valentina’s is my new favorite thing.

Highlights: sweet and juicy pulled pork and tender, peppery brisket mingling with well-executed traditional breakfast taco ingredients, homemade tortillas

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Veracruz All Natural
4208 Manchaca Rd., Austin, TX 78704
Breakfast tacos served all day | Prices start at $2.00

Lots of folks cite this place, specifically the Radio Coffee and Beer location, as their favorite breakfast taco, and I totally get it. Parking sucks and it’s always crowded, so I resisted, but it’s worth it. This is the best corn tortilla I’ve had in the city. It’s soft and pliable, but sturdy enough to support your taco without ripping down the side or getting soggy. It’s crisp in spots from the griddle and tastes simply and purely of corn. The migas is so good that I think it may have even bested Casa Alde’s queso-drowned version. It’s one of the few places that keeps the chips thick and crunchy. There’s tons of freshness from cilantro and bell pepper, and a perfect avocado slice on top. They have beautiful salsas too, one of which has little bits of diced avocado in it. The egg and chorizo taco wasn’t in the same league- the chorizo had very little flavor, the egg was overcooked. Skip it and get two migas tacos. I’ve heard their barbacoa is great too, but it’s only available in taco-form on the weekend.

Highlights: handmade corn tortillas that are crispy from the griddle, a pitch-perfect migas taco with thick and crispy tortilla chips, great salsas

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You guys, we did it. 13 taco joints, 4000 words. Did you skip some of it and want the cliffsnotes? Casa Alde is my pick for the best breakfast tacos in the Austin area, though you’ll have to drive to Buda. Tortilleria Rio Grande #2 is my choice for standard breakfast taco fare in the city limits. Valentina’s Tex Mex BBQ is the clear winner if money, gluttony, and tradition are no object. Do you disagree with me? Did I miss your favorite taco and you want me to know about it? Do you think Jews shouldn’t get to rank breakfast tacos? Tell me in the comments! Unless it’s about the Jewish thing, cuz gross.

Need to spend more time reading about tacos? Check out these links:

2015 AFBA City Guide to the Best Breakfast Tacos over at Full and Content
Eater Austin’s Latest Breakfast Taco Map
120 Tacos to Eat Before You Die over at Texas Monthly
Austin’s Best Tacos over at Bon Appetit
The Thrilla in the Tortilla over at the Austin Chronicle. A breakfast taco tournament.

Do with this information what you will, but here’s a list of places I wanted to try for this guide and didn’t get to. Maybe next year.

Cenote – I’ve had ’em, they’re awesome. I like the patio a lot too. Just didn’t make it up there to get the photograph.
El Chilito
– I’ve eaten their lunch and dinner tacos dozens of times, but I haven’t made it there for breakfast. A friend loves their big chunks of bacon. Rumor has it that one is opening around the corner from my house, on the corner of Manchaca and Redd.
El Primo
– People love this trailer across from Polvos on S. 1st. I want to try their migas.
El Taquito – Haven’t been there in years but people are still singing its praises. 
Joe’s Bakery
on E. 7th – The barbacoa is supposed to be amazing
Ken’s Subs, Tacos, and More – Huge tacos with a cult following. The confluence of subs and tacos is intriguing to me.
La Cocina de Consuelo – The tortillas make this place look like it could be Austin’s answer to Casa Alde, but I’m suspicious of the lack of pork products. Turkey bacon? Beef chorizo? What and why?
La Flor – This food truck is around the corner from my house and was written up in that Bon Appetit list above. I’ve eaten their meaty lunchtime tacos but haven’t tried the breakfast ones. Homemade corn tortillas.
Quickie Pickie – I’d already met my quota on hipster breakfast tacos for this post, but I have heard really great things about these tacos.
Rudy’s – a barbecue breakfast taco for the common man. supposedly with great bacon.
Taco More – I love the carnitas, al pastor, and cabrito, but haven’t tried their breakfast offerings.
Taco Palenque – This is fast food, but I dare you to say those breakfast tacos don’t look awesome. You have to drive down to New Braunfels (or to the Valley) for this one and I plan to, oh I plan to.
Texas Honey Ham – I want to eat honey ham in as many different applications as possible.
The Vegan Nom: Rockin’ Vegan Tacos – Are you vegan and still want to experience breakfast tacos? Keep hope alive!
Tyson’s Tacos – I’ve heard great things, and the online menu is cryptic and weird and sure, I’ll bite.

 

 

Carnitas, Okonomiyaki with Bacon, Porky Egg Rolls, and a Birthday Brunch with 62 Discrete Pieces of Pig Products

My post on breakfast tacos for the AFBA city guide is due next week, and I’m trying to shovel in as many tacos as possible before that time. I’ve got a list of 15 places I wanted to document and so far this month we’ve eaten at eight of them. That means this is gonna be a taco-heavy week. No way will I get through all seven though. I’m shooting for four. It also means I have to remember how to write a post about food, as opposed to the melodramatic child-rearing journal my blog has become (and which I prefer writing, don’t get me wrong!). The post will likely bring more traffic to my blog than it’s ever seen, but it will be people who just want to look at pictures of tacos, not hear about who punched who because of what at the HEB buddy buck machine. So how to be interesting without being overly personal? I don’t know yet. My very clever friend Molly suggested comparing each taco place to a famous Austin landmark, which is a cute gimmick. Like Veracruz All Natural could be barton springs because parts of it are awesome (the migas taco/lying under the trees while a naked hippie practices capoeira next to you) and parts of it are shitty (the overcooked and crumbled egg and chorizo taco/the frigid water and aggressive squirrels that will steal the giant plastic clamshell of cookies you’re not supposed to have in there in the first place and drag it up a nearby tree). Does that work? I think it doesn’t. Maybe I’ll devise a simple rating system of whether or not the taco is worth punching your brother in the back for, and that would cover the taco part while simultaneously giving the visitors a chance to get a taste of life on this blog. I’m just thinking out loud here. Let’s get to the food. Here’s what we ate this week.

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Carnitas and Guacamole. I’ve been trying to take notes on what we do every day so that when it comes time to write my blog post I have a roadmap for what I can talk about. This week I took no notes, and so I have to search for clues to try to remember what we did. My memory is total garbage. I look back at photos to see if I took any extra (non-food) ones that can help. From this day, there’s one of the kids lying in the tall grass next to Stumpy, the foot long stump of 2014’s Christmas tree that Henry and George play with occasionally. He can jump great distances- Henry carries him halfway down the block- and he likes to take naps, reclined in the grass. Dear Stumpy! Anyway, that’s not much of a story so what other clues are there? This pork! How could I manage a six hour pork roast on a Monday? Ah, it was President’s Day and Andy was home! The day was notable for me because I got new glasses. I mean because it was a beautiful day spent in the company of my family. I only really remember the glasses though. My old ones would slip down my nose and didn’t stay on my head because the kids used to grab them and bend the arms the wrong way. And when I would try to clean them the lens would pop out. I hated them. The kids were with us at the glasses place, and we read the only kids magazine, a High Five, if you’re familiar, cover-to-cover in about 8 minutes. It was hard to keep them from tearing the place apart, but still, I took my sweet time picking out my new frames while Andy entertained them. I tried on so many glasses. I’ve worn narrow rectangular frames since I got glasses in the sixth grade and I yearned to wear some of the oversized hipster-y frames I admire on other people. This place had one thin mirror in the center of all the glasses cases, so I’d pick out a frame, walk to the mirror, scrutinize my face, and then walk back and start the process all over again. Is the one mirror thing a standard glasses store feature? Is there some psychological reason for this, like the no clocks in casinos thing, to exploit the consumer? Is it to try to discourage you from trying on a lot of glasses? You’ll have to get up a lot earlier in the morning to discourage me, glasses store! I narrowed it down to two: a big hipster-y one that felt strange and new on my face, and a pair very much like every other pair I’ve ever owned. Andy picked the boring pair, which made me lean toward the hipster pair because I’m contrary. I asked an employee for help and she said the hipster ones brought “a lot of energy” to my face, which has to be one of four canned lines she uses when people ask her for help, right? Anyway, it worked. I picked the weird pair. Then we came home and ate a big pile of crispy pork. I follow the roast pork recipe in the link, then shred the thing in the skillet, leaving all the fat in the pan, and put it back in the oven for a bit to crisp up. It’s the bee’s knees. Unless it’s the knees of all bees, cuz then it’s the bees’ knees.

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Ham Sandwich, Buttered Noodles, Carnitas in a Tortilla. We drove out to Cedar Park for an unschooling friend’s birthday party. I made another platter of raspberry buttermilk cupcakes to share. It looked exactly like the one from last week’s blog post so I didn’t take a picture. It was such a wonderful party! The kids played outside- pulled each other in wagons, swung on a big disc swing, and got glitter tattoos and balloon animals. I got to sit with some cool people and eat a pile of delicious snacks while they did that stuff, so all the better. It was such a beautiful house too, on an acre of land and with a big pantry with bulk ingredients lined up in tidy canisters- I love that shit. Henry had one complaint about the design though- the bathroom had a black toilet. He was totally weirded out by it but eventually gave in. I thought about making a joke here about needing to work on toilet diversity training with him but then thought that might sound racist so I’ll just stop there. We stayed  until the sun went down and then hurried home to throw together this half-assed dinner.

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Spaghetti Squash Pad Thai, Pork and Cabbage Egg Rolls. The linked egg roll recipe contains neither pork nor cabbage, and are baked instead of fried like mine, but are otherwise the same. I’m aware that that’s a lot of changes, but it worked. They were so good. The pad thai is surprisingly easy, and good too, I think, though it was the clear loser in a match against the egg rolls.

We spent the day at the wildflower center. We used to go to the sprouts program there every week but stopped because Henry started to hate the structure of the class- he’d rather just walk around and learn on his own than have an instructor create sensory bins and focused activities. I have to say, I sort of agree. We all enjoyed the class this week, which started out with making crayon rubbings of plastic prehistoric life molds, reading a silly story about a stegosaurus, and going on a scavenger hunt nature walk of prehistoric stuff that’s still around, like fossils, ferns, and cypress trees. But on the walk, the kids would stop to look at something, a plant or a flower or something, and the volunteer would point out that we were getting too far behind the group. Stop observing nature kids and catch up so the teacher can observe it for you! I thought that was dumb. Isn’t the whole point to encourage kids to stop and investigate the world around them? After the class we stayed another four hours and had so much fun that we’re going to try to get back to going every week again.

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Okonomiyaki with Roast Pork and Bacon. Let’s not beat around the bush here- I know I did a really shitty job with that sauce squirting. And it’s not really a sauce, it’s just mayonnaise squeezed out of a ziploc bag by an inexpert hand. There’s a red sauce too which is basically just ketchup and a lot of worcestershire sauce, so it’s a classy operation from top to bottom. The sauces and brilliant idea to top the pancakes with bacon strips comes from the linked recipe, but otherwise I followed my standard one with all of the leftover carnitas folded in, because why not.

This was Thursday, the day of the week my mother-in-law comes to hang out with the kids so I can not hang out with the kids. It is the best thing. I got to go out and eat breakfast tacos with Molly and lost track of time as we ate the crispiest tortilla chips and talked about how we’re unrelatable as human beings. Then I got to go grocery shopping by myself and to pick up my new glasses. I tried to take a selfie to send to my mom and Helen and failed miserably. I held the camera 12 inches from my face and smiled widely and looked like a serial killer. I tried to hold the phone above me like I’ve seen Helen do, but then I just looked like a serial killer photographed from above. I gave up and sent the first one, but this is something I’d like to learn how to do properly. Helen, please teach me.

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Grilled Ham and Cheese Sandwiches. The next two dinners were slap dash ones because I had lots of stuff to cook and make for a birthday party we hosted on Sunday. Still, a grilled ham and cheese is delicious, and I stand by it, the pile of potato chips, and the one sad orange wedge.

George fell asleep on the way home from a playdate where we made butter (I got to keep the buttermilk! I was so excited.) and where Henry grappled with the concept of using your words instead of headbutting people, which meant we were gonna be up late. So we made the best of it and took the kids to South Park Meadows after dinner, which I’ve complained about before, and is not a meadow, but instead a sprawling strip mall where a meadow once stood. What a shitty name for the place. But it’s the home of my beloved Joann Fabric store and I needed ribbon and pretty teal papers for the party, and I got to go there by myself while Andy watched the kids on the playground, which was crawling with kids in spite of it being totally dark. Before I had Henry, I remember seeing kids out with their parents at the grocery store or somewhere when it was late, and judging them for it, because kids are supposed to have structure and predictable schedules and early bedtimes. I cringe at my asshole-iness. I knew nothing about what it was like to have kids and was still sure that I knew the best thing for these strangers. Now I know better. Sometimes your kid takes a nap at three o’clock and then stays up until midnight and you have got to, got to get out of the house. After the playground, we went to a bubble tea place nearby to get one to share. When I asked the guy if any of the tea drinks were caffeine free he somewhat patronizingly explained that if it has tea in it, it’s gonna have caffeine. So he made us a bubble non-tea that was just coconut cream and a whole lot of sugar and tapioca pearls. It was rad.

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Ham Sandwich, Quesadillas, Leftover Frozen Pizza, Toasted PBJ. Andy and I spent Saturday getting ready for the party- him mowing the lawn, putting the final coat of polyurethane on a patio box he built for a gift, and watching the kids for hours while I cooked everything that could be made ahead. We had breakfast tacos for lunch, and then another phoned-in dinner of simple carbs on a plate.

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Sunday! Time for the big party! Andy’s mom, my mother-in-law, is having a milestone birthday on the 22nd and we wanted to celebrate her. Mary does so much for us. Every week she gives me the greatest gift in the world- time for myself. The kids adore her and so do I. I got real, real lucky in the mother-in-law department and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Turns out that sign was a little crooked? Also, I’m so so sad I added those squiggly things at the bottom of the p’s in happy. They are the worst!

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Another set-up shot. Thanks for the gorgeous flowers, Joanna!

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The bulk of the spread. Turns out 30 sausages is not enough for 13 people when one of those people is Henry. He ate only sausage and pineapple. George is a bacon man.

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Spinach and Comte Quiche with Gluten Free Buttermilk Crust. I used the buttermilk from the homemade butter activity in the crust and should have added bacon to the quiche but didn’t want to sacrifice any of the 32 slices I had on hand.

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Crispy Herbed Potatoes, Kale Salad with Cranberries, Pecans, and Parmesan. I’ve got nothing to say about these things. I liked the potatoes and I ate some of the salad.

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Double Coconut Granola. It’s more of the granola I keep shoving down your throat! It’s a good one.

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Fruit. The blackberries and raspberries went quickly. There was lots of everything else leftover. People seemed suspicious of the oranges cut in rounds.

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Deviled Eggs with Tarragon. Making deviled eggs is a sure sign I love somebody. I hate peeling hard boiled eggs more than anything in the world, but I’ll do it for you. I add a splash of champagne vinegar to the yolk mixture because I think the eggs are better with a little acid. The recipe is otherwise perfect, IMHO.

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Apple Muffins, Raspberry Zebra Cheesecake with Gingersnap Pecan Crust. The muffins are the same muffins I always make, but more enjoyable because I served them with soft salted plugra butter. But the cheesecake is new and was so much fun. It didn’t crack on top and was insanely creamy, and pretty easy all things considered.

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I ate another slice after dinner and took a picture to show you the swirls inside, which are not nearly as well defined and lovely as the linked recipe’s photo, but are fun all the same.

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Dinner. We ate brunch again.

Sending you all my love on your birthday tomorrow, Mary! You are the knees of all the bees.